The two words I dreamed of and feared saying all at the same time.
I mean who leaves 10 years of history behind after vowing to stay and ride off into the sunset.
Yet, there I sat pondering what was waiting for me on the other side of the divorce...
not from my husband,
but from the life I had built.
A life I had so perfectly curated.
I was liked.
I was loved.
But inside, I simply felt bloated.
Filled with funky air that was causing me pain, discomfort, and indigestion.
So, I quit.
I quit the job.
But more importantly,
I quit doing the things that kept me stuck there, years too long, in the first place.
Here are 3 things I wish someone had told me to quit years before I actually did.
#1 Quit trying to prove your worth by doing the most. For too long, I kept trying to convince people I deserved to be there and that I was qualified. And, I'm not just talking about work.
Listen, sis, do your best, but "proving" that you're worth the position will always leave you empty.
You don't have to prove your worth by doing your best because when you know your worth, you do your best.
#2 Quit trying to convince people you're tired and you need a break. Liiiiissssseeennn, for the longest time, I felt like a nap was something I had to pay on every month before I could take it, like my favorite outfit on layaway.
Naps are free, but we treat them like a high-cost luxury bag you can only wear on a special occasion.
I mean what would be the price you pay if you take a nap?
Let me tell you.
A lower price than you'd pay if you skipped it.
Quit depriving the mind, body, and soul of what it needs. Shortchanging rest always leads to high-cost consequences like weight gain, higher risk for medical conditions, and poorer performance.
Take the nap.
Jesus did, and He wants you to.
#3 Quit saying “Yes” because their fragile Ego Can’t Handle Your “NO.” Sis, you’re no longer the little girl who had to smile and make everyone feel comfortable because that was what “nice, polite girls” do. Nice and polite at your own expense has left you nice and exhausted while others have politely moved on to their next victim leaving you sitting in the costs.
If looking out for your spiritual, mental, and emotional well-being isn’t nice, I guess I’ll just have to be mean. The truth is you’ll actually be nicer if you channel your inner mean girl to stand firmly in your “No.”
No, I don’t advocate for being mean, but I do want you to fight for YOU. The you that is refreshed and moving in her purpose, not wandering through demands that aren’t moving you any closer to the place God has called you. Their fragile ego can handle it.
And if not, remember your compromised physical, mental, and emotional state may not.
Just say no.
Sis, before you stay in a position, professional, or personal, you must ask yourself is the sacrifice worth the death of your dreams, self-worth, and health? Find people, places, and things that see…the treasure in you, not simply the impact of what you do. You should do what you do because of who you are, not because of who they want you to be…
So, if your people or circumstances are leaving you used up...diminished…and only good for what you can give…instead of who you masterfully and purposefully are becoming…
Najah Drakes is a Work-Life Balance Strategist, Personal Development Coach, and Self Care Expert at Spark Her Blaze. She helps successful women purposefully achieve as much success in their personal lives as they do in their professional lives. After over 20 years of working with multi-million dollar companies, Najah now uses her strategic and data analysis skills to help women harness the data of their lives to empower them to live more purposefully physically, mentally, and spiritually.
She can be reached at email@example.com
LinkedIn: Najah (Ade) Drakes